I have a friend who I consider my best friend. Well, he is the best friend I have, but i dont have very many good friends. However, the feeling is not mutual. I really dont know what i am to him. He tells me that we are "really good friends" but he doesnt really show it. I am not one his top choices of "people to hang out with" nor does he come to me a lot, nor can I go to him all of the time. (i just decided i really dont like the word "nor") I never know whether its gonna be a day were he is my friend or whether he is just going to blow me off. He doesnt know how many times he has hurt me and that every time he ignores me or just isnt there for me it feels like a paper cut in the eye. it hurts. but im not gonna give up. im too stubborn and we have had good times together. whenever he has trusted me or whenever i have been able to go to him or when ever we have just had a had fun, well its a good thing. Id do it all again. Just for those good times. Like I said, He is the best friend i got. I just wish best friends werent so painful.